10 Ways to Increase Your Resilience
What is resilience?
Resilience refers to our ability to face our fears, inner struggles and change with an open mind. We all have resilience. Our level of resilience can minimize stress and the long-term impacts of difficult times. The most resilient among us can look back at challenging periods and see the ways they grew from the struggles they went through.
Why is it important?
Life is going to have it’s up and down’s. The ability to navigate through hardship well builds self-esteem, increases inner strength and can deepen important relationships.
If we all have resilience, why do we need to boost it? Research shows that some people are more naturally resilient than others. It also shows that resilience can be fostered, strengthened and learned.
10 Mind and Body Tips to Support Your Resilience
1. Breathe—When we are stressed our bodies get ready to fight or flee. Physical changes happen such as our heart rate increasing or the blood flow increasing to our legs (to ready us to run). Certain parts of our brain shut down. Breathing in and out slowly can reverse this physiologic cascade of events. It tells the body you are safe and brings all the parts of your back brain online to address your stress.
Try breathing in for a count of 3-4 seconds, pause for a second then out for 6-8 seconds. Try this for a minute or until you notice a change. Don’t hesitate to repeat a few times throughout the day if you notice your stress rising again.
2. Move. Hard times often bring with them concern for what will happen in the future or what happened in the past. Movement can bring us back into the present and into our bodies. Movement can also counteract our sense of being stuck or powerless. Just a simple walk outside can alleviate stress and reduce depression by boosting positive endorphins.
3. Make a list of your resources. These are things that calm you down when you are upset. You can keep it on your phone, in your bag or anywhere else where it will be accessible. My clients have all kinds of resources on their lists. You tube videos that make you smile, pictures of a loved ones, animals, activities such as yoga, walking, dance, a favorite song, reaching out to a friend, visualizing a favorite place, making art, taking a shower, the possibilities are endless. In a pinch, you can turn to your list and see what you are able to do in that moment to support yourself.
4. Nature. Studies show that listening to 20 minutes of nature sounds a day has positive impacts on stress and the nervous system. A regulated nervous system can process hardships more efficiently, without being re-traumatized. So download those nature sounds or better yet head out for a walk in nature.
5. Community & friendships. We need people in our lives that are there for us. Reach out to someone who feels safe for you. Again and again studies show the benefits of being connected to people. Who are those people who you can count on in your life to show up for you? Who are the people you have daily or nearly daily contact with?
6. Remind yourself of what you have already overcome. Remember other hard time you pulled through. Ask yourself what got stronger in you? What did you learn? How did it lead you to something wonderful in your life today?
7. Self care. Often under stress, we don’t sleep enough, eat poorly and cut ourselves off from the activities and people who nurture us. Do one self-caring action for yourself today. Not only will the action support you but it also affirms your value and self worth, sending the message to yourself that you are worthy of care, despite your pain.
8. Self talk & self esteem. The attitudes we hold about ourselves are crucial to our ability to recover from challenging times. Develop a practice of noticing when you are telling yourself you are not good enough or doing a bad job. See if you can then counteract that by naming 3 you are doing well. Focus on improvement you have experienced, instead of perfection.
9. Find your flexibility and allow change. Change gives us the chance to grow in new and different directions. While things in your life may not be how you wanted them to be accepting what is happening frees us to find how we want to relate to what is going on. This is one of the skills identified by research that highly resilient people have.
10. Find a sense of purpose for your suffering. Our values, spiritual beliefs and moral compass can guide is to find meaning for our challenges. Can you locate your sense of right, wrong and justice in your struggle? Are you called to correct a collective harm? Is there a way you can serve others with what you are learning? How are the current challenges serving your growth and resilience in the long term?