When I started this article, we were not in the midst of a global pandemic. While I am seeing a range of responses in my clients to COVID- 19 Shelter in Place orders, disrupted travel plans, childcare challenges, job insecurity and more, there’s no denying that collective emotions are running high and anxiety is prevalent. Now, more than ever stress management and self-care are foundational for getting through our current circumstances and the unpredictable nature of this time.

 

Self-care and coping skill are harder to learn than people think. These skills can be especially tricky if in childhood, we didn’t get the kind of parenting that supports us to learn to self-soothe, do self-care or have boundaries. On top of learning the skills, then we have to remember to use them.  Just like any skill, we have to practice to get better at it. And although some of these tips are easy, learning to integrate them into your life can be the hardest part. Often in the middle of an emotionally charged moment, the last thing we want to do is pause, take a breath or shift our attention. 

 

1. Breathe

Breathing in a slow manner does wonders for our bodies under any kind of stress. If we were in physical danger our breath would be shallow. There are just certain ways that we breathe when we are safe and calm versus, stressed or scared. Breathing in for a natural count for you, taking a pause then exhaling to a doubled count will change the physiological stress response underway in your body. For example, breathing in 1-2-3-4, pausing for a brief moment, then exhale 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8. Once you notice a shift, take a bit more time breathing naturally and notice the shift. Allow your focus to be soft. Do count--it gives your brain something to do instead of racing with thoughts, worry or concern.  

 

2. Affirm

Repeat a word or phrase that invokes a sense of calm or comfort. We all have words or phrases that feel good us. Repeat this to yourself. Sometimes I like to combine the above breathing with a word or phrase. Gently focus on how the words calm you… does it live somewhere in your body? It is tingling, spreading, have an image, color or feel a particular way?

 

3. Feel the Here and Now

Get all your senses on board, here and now. You can direct your attention to something you hear while your eyes are closed, what you taste, see, feel or smell. Anything that brings your attention into the moment and out of thoughts about the past or future can decrease stress and traumatic activation. 

 

An easy and immediate way to do this is to gently run your fingers over your lips. There are fibers connected to your nervous system in your lips. These fibers support the part of your nervous system connected to relaxation.

 

4. Look at Something Pretty or Pleasing

Look around your environment for something that feels pleasing to look at. Or check out a video or picture on your phone that brings you happiness or joy. You can also visualize a place you love in your mind’s eye or look at something in your immediate environment. I like pictures of my animals doing goofy stuff.  Tune into the details. Is there something new you can find about the picture/image/item? What do you notice in your body as you look at it?

 

5. Redirect Your Thoughts

If you are thinking about things that upset you, think about something else. Seriously. Interrupt your train of thought. Think about what to eat for dinner. Count backwards from 1000. Distract yourself. It’s okay. If what you are thinking about is important, you will come back to it later when you are more grounded and embodied. 

 

6. Laugh

Laugher really is good medicine. Really. There’s amazing research on the benefits of laughter. A good laugh can decrease blood pressure, heart rate and is shown to have long-term impact on the immune systems and more. It’s really amazing stuff. Keep a little list of things that make you laugh— photos, videos or your favorite comedians.  Even a fake or forced laugh can have positive impacts. 

 

7. Connection with Friends or Animals

Social engagement or interacting with another human being is the quickest way to down regulate the nervous system in traumatic activation. Ever feel better after talking to a friend about a difficult situation and feeling their empathy? Or notice that if someone around you takes a deep breath, you take one too? This is our social engagement system at work. Behavior that we don’t think about such as eye contact, touch, a caring tone of voice or a warm smile, light up parts of our brain that make us feel safe and secure. 

Animals have also been shown to decrease levels of cortisol and lower blood pressure which both spike in anxiety and traumatic activation.  In other research pets have been shown to reduce loneliness, increase feelings of social support, and boost emotions. 

 

 

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/ppc.12184

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5037252/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3108032/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3408111/